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Tough Topics - Home and Family Life
The home has a central position in Jewish society and plays a crucial part in Jewish survival. A Jew can physically endure without a home but Jewish culture cannot: it is defined, organised and perpetuated by the family in its home.
The home was seen by the rabbis as a true sanctuary—a mikdash m'at, a little temple—in which parents are priests and the table is an altar: its flexibility and openness are demonstrated especially on Shabbat and festivals.
Two mitzvot (commandments), in particular, reflect relations between parents and children. “Be fruitful and multiply” was the first biblical command to be given. Some Jews cannot have children and others do not want a large family but childlessness is not a Jewish ideal.
Another mitzvah—one of the Ten Sayings, in fact—is: “Honour your father and your mother.” There is no equivalent for parents to honour their sons and daughters, probably because there is no need for one: it is seen as obvious that parents should love their children but children do not naturally love their parents!
For several thousand years, the Jewish family was 'extended', both 'horizontally' to include cousins and 'vertically' to include grandparents and grandchildren. Increasing contact with the western non-Jewish world in the modern age has influenced the size and shape of many Jewish families: the birth-rate is falling and the divorce-rate is rising; there is an increase in mobility and a decrease in stability. Jews can neither return to the closed comfort of a bygone age nor afford to lose the distinctiveness and dynamism of family life. The question is whether time-tested Jewish attitudes and values can help to find a new kind of Jewish family home.
Children
A baby is a symbol of new life and a sign of hope for the future. Every Jewish baby is a person in its own right but also helps the Jewish people to survive. Traditionally, Jewish families tend to be large and observant Jewish couples today still want to have lots of children. Classic Jewish sources see that the birth of a child enhances the image of God in life. When a couple adopts a child, that child is theirs in every sense.